Belief system:

It is supposed, our belief system (pattern of thinking we own and have confidence in) make us perceive things as we do and makes us think in particular way. Whole of which is very deep rooted. So, if at all we want to see change in our present and in our future, it is the belief system we have to address.

Most of our convictions, lack individuality to say it differently, they are obsolete, does not go well with us, limiting in nature. As a result we are short of being the kind of person we wish to be. Let us not ignore our errs but tackle them, more so by modification in our standpoint.

A quote explains it best: “Becoming an adult is learning (to)…developing, through experience, one’s own philosophy and ethics and avoiding ready-made thinking.”

Let us ask ourselves ‘what do we believe in?’ and live it out. It could be interpersonal related, about our current situation, vis-à-vis our future, regarding self and so on. If our belief system is encouraging and friendly, days to come will turn out well. There shouldn’t be disproportion in what we do and what we think and it can’t be. Exemplify further, if I believe in letting go and living in present and taking things as they come, then I can’t say this is how I want to be but for some reason  I am not able to be so; as this would result in internal conflict.  We may not be able to fix up all issues over night but let’s be affirmative.

Write a list of principle that you fancy and read it over along with execution of same. It may seem superficial at first but gradually but definitely it would sink in.
Here are a few to start off… to what one believes in:

ü Talking to the person directly with whom we hope to resolve differences

ü Understanding of the self and working to be better

ü Discretion with humility

ü Praying for all, keeping good promises

ü Respecting all irrespective of how they have been

ü Transparency in our dealings

ü Helping oneself out first

ü Speaking the faith

ü Letting go and living in present

ü Charity, fulfilling our responsibilities

ü Consistency (not wavering from our path that is right for us), taking care of our health and more importantly our thoughts

It is believed books influence us. Thus moved by Paulo’s book: “Like the flowing river” and one of the stories, “The prayer that I forgot”, in it, here is my own version of one which fortunately, I was able to write when I needed. (of late, my posts are becoming more of heart on sleeve) So how about writing a prayer of your own that is inclusive of not just the wishes but even of the people you care about?

AMEN

God please protect our thoughts, words, feelings and actions so that we can be good to ourselves, towards fellow beings and to everything belonging to you in this beautiful world of yours.

Bless us, to be thankful for our wonderful gifts which you have given us. Teach us, all the lessons which we have to learn in a nice and merciful way. Help us to know that we are forgiven and whole heartedly accepted by you hence we should be kind and empathize with others. To be hopeful and keep enough faith in you. Equally important to make values the centre of our lives as they are the ones that make us truly humans and makes you smile.

Begging for honesty in our life and in our prayers. Amen.

Face reader

He walked and he lived, eager to know people

Keenness soon transformed him into a face reader

Some had uncertainty,

No matter what they were hooked on

A few stood indifferent,

While there was so much to see to

It smiled, frowned, mocked, worried, and frustrated

None of which was intended or had to be so

Yet was carried by the young and the old

There were handful; true, subtle and calm;

And this was easily read

At first, liked his ability

But soon grew weary

Welcomed, was no good at it

Later than usual...he saw his impression

And the mirror divulged

Yes, I reflect

Through me, you try to know more of yourself

It is I-look out, who needs purge

You are by large flawless

See how you can relate this, to people you meet

Wink and giggle very often

There is more to life past toughness

Interpretation:
A layperson, who was very much interested in meeting people, as he got to know many individuals he developed a kind of skill, to read their faces. Some of the faces smiled but was fake, others worried, pretended, made fun of... he could read all this easily and those whom he assessed were ignorant as to how readable their thoughts were on their face. At first, the face reader liked this new skill of his but then he became jaded (worn out). He was so much into evaluating others that he paid less heed to himself. Nearly every one he met had put on so many faces that he recognised, he was not actually good at reading it.
When he looked at his image, the mirror in a way started talking to him, people usually reciprocate with our feelings, we compare and sort of balance our way of living with that of others. Although we are spick and span if the mirror does not happen to be clean, the image is flawed similarly it is just a change of our perspective that makes a whole lot of difference. Instead of being critical, if we remain open, we get to know that there is... more to life.



Everything that love asks for...
Love is one feeling, can be written 
Thousand poems on;but feel,
It has not everything one wants to say
Trust me; it’s not possible to write,
Without going through what’s been written
Now that you have decided to go away
For want of space or whatever reason,
I wish you say
Will try to stop you; if cant,

Will keep the door of my heart open
For you to return, be here, be in now and move on
With a hope in future
As told, where there is hope there is life and hope is where life is
With faith, that He does...more than His infinite power
To keep our love alive, fresh and pure,
Like His favourite Daffodil
Folk will take care of the soul
Who has seen people go through worser than this
Shall remain strong
If I ever complain about you to someone,
Wouldn’t want it to pent up,
Wish, they take your side
When you return, you will find a person better than an earlier, 
By acceptance and virtues,
Life and its pleasant people have...

 

 

Love in its purest state would have transcended all cravings

Man through his intelligence, may unearth the tiniest particle in an atom, something incredibly marvellous and far stretching but probably he will never be able to understand the universe. It exists, for us to know something else and not merely to be familiar with its-self solitarily...

Take pride in me o lord and let me grow humble



It was said, “write your glory on marble and sorrow on sand”...don’t think of it so anymore...

In its place if we write our sorrow on sand on a sea shore, anyways the waves would simply wash it way giving ourselves a feeling that the hurt has gone away from us. Suppose we write something wonderful like the word ‘love’ or somebody’s name on a beach, the waves won’t be taking it away but making it a part of something vast like sea (so it is not static, so that it does not belong to a small space on beach but a big sea or perhaps even bigger celestial when it forms clouds)

Disputed -piece of land, pot of money and its cost:

Someone has 100 bucks. He goes to a restaurant, and has a meal costing 75. Remaining 25, he spends on dessert. But for someone else those 25 bucks may mean one time food in a day that is spent on bun and some dips and thus quench hunger. To say it differently, for one it is luxury and for another it is necessity.

There is fight over the possessions in the world ... If there are two parties involved, and if both want same thing then it would give way to clash. Alternatively, let one of them step back and that would be the end of differences. Economics says, ‘wants’ are insatiable however, it is so only if we are greedy and never if we are generous. Owning a piece of land or converting it into a big pot of money may secure our future but is it absolute? And it is a gain at what cost and how much of disruption? Priorities change: what is important for us today and as years roll on will not be same

Life is very generous. “In life we may get a pie more but not a pie less than what we deserve/destined to get.”

If we rise to the level of selflessness and decide to give away there are numerous ways to do that and numerous things to contribute; money, gift, time to an NGO, Knowledge... Easiest stuff will be to donate a part of monthly earning to right cause and get a feedback acknowledging the proper use of the offering.  It is believed, what we give away will come to us in many folds. Better still, giving away is noble and keeping it selfless – (and) a personal responsibility.

Ironic but true...there is poverty amidst plenty and plenty amidst (in) poverty.

Something that is as mortal as the looks can’t be love. Beauty changes not only with costume and age (time) but with feelings, thoughts and expressions and more with our own values and perspective towards others (whom we are estimating)...

When will we be together?



When will we be together?

To that love found unfound, to that warmth

The moment forth some say,

Are ready to die

But I wanna live it,

All again

Like life we always fancied

To change the ambience incessantly

Where we know each other’s heart

Even if in utterly silent

Is it in solitude or is it lonely?

Where we speak soft,

By no means would our feeling be scanty

 Surprisingly!!! Loveliness resonates

It never hurts

But far and wide, our being and spirit are cured



A Real Adoration: (part 3)

One of my favourite lines reads,

“Let our relationship be blessing to us, blessing to others and more importantly something that glorifies our lord”

Recently came across a topic about ‘godly wife’ yes, it inspired me for some days. We all have an image of ideal relationship in our mind but the fact is our life and we are that ‘work in progress’ and not complete. Not every tip available can be implemented so let us say; good spouse in place of godly and slowly advance in that direction.

Trying to figure out, what causes conflict between couples and the relationship to wither:

1.    Cold attitude like being self centred, not caring for other’s feelings

2.    Misunderstandings not resolved

3.    Lack of communication

4.    Not giving the time that’s required for relationship to work

5.    Comparing one’s own relationship with some other happy couples, identifying only the unapproved behaviour  forgetting the best side and that which is going well

6.    Difference in personal goals (to name a few)

How to sort it out?

One simple thing will be to do exactly the opposite of above (reasons that causes conflict)

Love with trust and compatibility (had heard it somewhere) is needed for a relationship to succeed, equally needed is honesty. Openness in expressing, concern, sharing the dreams would blossom relation. These are again taken words: treat others how you want them to treat you, let us not love just with words but with actions and in truth. Especially in a new relation the family and friends should know when they have to give suggestions/ play the role of the intermediaries and when they have to leave the couple to enjoy their life or deal with the situation on their own.

Those that bond and connect a heart to another are love, care, kindness, words, understanding ...a little compromise at times and everything that is synonymous with humanity.

The expectations from a relation should be realistic, healthier to focus on what’s happening now rather than being anxious of future or gone past.

A Real Adoration: (part 2)

IMO, love is a feeling that exists between 2 individuals who look up to each other’s positives so as to appreciate and imbibe it into their own lives along with working on the personal flaws, being there, sharing, caring and helping one another to be better humans, besides fulfilling responsibilities .

I guess that was a practical and realistic definition of love. Let me explain bit more, in love we look at each other’s positives, it’s not the infatuation but the nicest quality the other person has that has made us love and if we lack in that trait we can inculcate one. We aren’t perfect hence we have our negative side as well and we aren’t bluffing our feelings so in a polite way both will strive to improve oneself and will acknowledge each other of ways it can be done.

Some other random thoughts:

§ Is love mutual or is it selfless? 

If it is mutual, it would mean give and take relationship and being selfless would mean loving without expecting anything in return. Well, it has to be selfless till a point where your love realises; you are integral, indivisible part of their existence (and it becomes mutual)

§ We are ready to over look the mistakes of our loved ones, we can’t think of harming them even in our thoughts, we are most gentle dealing with them, why can’t we treat others like we would treat the person we love most? – one of many things true fondness can teach us

§ Let me be dedicated to you and that dedication be pure...(its adoration not just love)

§ There are people who truly love you and you got to be happy for them because much of their happiness depends on your own

§ Spring is beautiful no doubt; autumn is beautiful in its own ways… Love gets strengthened as we get to know each other over years of togetherness.  Physicality anyways exists, more necessary is the emotional relation (connection at the emotional level) wherein the couple will take care of emotional needs, understand likes and dislikes, comforts and discomforts and how they ought to treat each other

A Real Adoration: (part 1)

I know love but not everything about it... just like life, not all of its questions has an answer; at least am not aware of it at present. When we know it in true sense, probably many of our troubles would cease and there will be the feeling of bountifulness so why shouldn’t we fall in? J

There are many ideas and suggestions out there telling us, how to have authentic relation, how to be a good spouse, what we can do to make our marriage successful and the like. But there are 2 of it, one a tale and the other a verse from bible that sums it up...

A story in Buddhism about a woman named Sujatha, (Buddhism. Anguttara Nikaya, Sujata Sutta) speaks of seven kinds of wife: a slayer, a robber, a master, a mother, a sister, a friend and a handmaid like wife. Let us talk about the last four categories of wife as it nicely tells the wonderful roles a woman plays as a wife (there are several other compositions in languages like Sanskrit but I choose this one). The story says, a good wife could be mother like wife to her husband who (IMO, is there for him when in need; listening to what her husband has got to say… is gentle, quite and stable.) who is loving, sympathetic, cares for her husband just like a mother cares for her son and does not waste his hard earned wealth. Another type of wife is sister like who clings to her spouse for protection, serves him, and stands by his wishes. A friend like wife, who has all qualities of a good companion such as appreciating that which is good conduct, advising and correcting when wrong and being supportive. And the last kind is help maid like wife who is loyal, pure in heart, obedient, calm, fearless… (When I read this piece, I felt how little I know and there is much for us to learn when it comes to dealing with soulful humans)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”  -Bible (every word valuable enough to contemplate)

Realisation:

A text in my cell’s inbox read,” realisation is often not worthy because many a times it comes after we lose a precious thing”. There will always be ways of looking at things; accept it, question it or remain abstain.

Well... according to me "we never lose anything for ever. So the realisation becomes necessary so we care, not to lose something as precious as it next time we find" You lose an object, you buy a new in its place and become cautious and safeguard it, one feels guilty of behaving or speaking thoughtlessly, feels offended in front of a crowd realises ones mistake and progresses determined to improve and not to repeat the same, one loses somebody really close; had their relationship been very important but often neglected one then a person who is alive will cry over the dead wishing the whole lot was only better between them and that they had more time to spend together, even here there could be the wonderful realisation playing its role if only the person desires and can start showing concern to those alive, the departed would not have left  the folks behind empty handed but with many memories and wisdom.

Tough though, let us realise how important what we now have is, let us realise how important it is to know where we are wrong (if at all) and to correct, let us realise life is not for bitter/hard feelings, let us realise it’s ok that we got wish we'd asked for bit late...

Bas ek tum...

Rabh se sari duvayen maangu, wo ho tum
Bas ek tum
Kayaal main har pal sochu jiske, wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Saath kisike jiyun tho, wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Pyaar k dhadkan agar rahenge is dil main….., wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Muskurahat dhin bana de tho, wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Ehesaas se jo mann hi mann sharmaun, wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Kwaab aakri lamhen thak jo deke hain, wo tum ho
Bas ek tum
Mera rabh, meri duva, kayaal, pyar, dhadkan,
Muskurahat,kwaab, jagha is zindagi main kisi aur ki na ho
Wo tum ho, bas ek tum…